But ask me how many times I’ve done either of those things… NONE. Why? Because I feel silly making a special request for whipped cream and chocolate chips! Obviously the toppings on a drink are pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of life, and it just doesn’t feel like an important enough thing to specifically ask about. 

As they say, closed mouths don’t get fed! A different friend of mine who I’ve heard say this line more than anybody is the exact opposite of me at restaurants. She is not afraid to ask for exactly what her heart desires. She is specific and expectant, and when her order is delivered, if it’s not what she’d hoped for, she has no hesitation in asking about it kindly and respectfully. Me, on the other hand, I’m much more likely to say, Eh, it’s fine. Not a huge deal. I don’t want to bother anybody.

I’m not sure what it is that blocks me from asking a simple question at Caribou so I can enjoy the drink I’m there for, but I know it’s probably the same thing that sometimes blocks me from asking God for my heart’s desires. I heard a pastor once comment that his daughter only asked him for essentials, or if she only asked him for help when she was stuck in hard situations, he would be sad. As her father, he wants to know the desires of her heart! He wants to know her hopes and dreams. That gave me the push and confidence to be more open and bold about talking to God about my hopes and dreams. I don’t think God wants us to only come to Him with serious needs. I think He, as our Heavenly Father, longs for us to talk to Him about anything and everything! …including the wishful desires that might be buried deep in our hearts, those ones that might even feel inconsequential in the grand scheme of life. Are you afraid to ask for things like that? 

The Bible talks a lot about asking. Here are a few verses:

• Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. -Matthew 7:7
• Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. -John 16:24b
• You do not have because you do not ask God. -James 4:2b
• If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:11

There is no reason to be hesitant or afraid to talk to God about anything and everything that’s on your heart and mind! He’s not sitting up in Heaven and only listening to His children’s prayer requests that are for help, healing and hope. I’m just imagining that if you have a conversation with Him about your travel dreams, your home ownership dreams, your college or graduate degree dreams, your family dreams, or whatever dreams reside in the depths of your heart, He is delighted that you would talk to Him about those things. 

Now I know you might be thinking… But isn’t that selfish? And aren’t those verses falsely suggesting that God will give us every single thing we ask for? Anyone who’s prayed for something before knows that God’s answers to prayer aren’t always in line with our requests. He knows what’s best for us, and He has the supernatural ability to see the big picture, the overarching view of our entire life stories. Because of this, He knows better than we do—even about our own lives. But even so, don’t let that stop you from talking to Him about everything. That’s what you do with something you share an intimate relationship with, right? You don’t talk to your best friend ONLY about people who need healing, relationships that need resolving, and questions that need answers. You talk about your hopes! Your dreams! The things that bring you joy.

As I’ve started to talk to God about my hopes and dreams more frequently over the past year, I’ve coupled that conversation with a prayer for Him to make my heart like His. God, help me to desire the same things You desire for me! And as I’ve done that, I’ve noticed Him shaping my desires and prayers to match what He knows will bring me joy and delight. Some of that is consistent with the things I was already dreaming about, and some of it isn’t. While I have been blessed to experience some answered prayers in relation to things I’ve long hoped for, I’ve also noticed new desires creeping into my prayers, which I can clearly recognize as coming from Him. 

There’s another verse about asking in the Bible that includes this idea about making God’s desires your desires. 

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15

This is my prayer! That as I’m asking God to fulfill the desires of my heart, He would constantly be at work—shaping, molding and bending my heart toward Him. I pray that His perfect desires for me would become my desires, too, so that the things I ask for might be in line with His will for me. And as this prayerfully happens, my heart posture and motivation will be pleasing to the Lord. Ultimately, those places, times and ways when God’s desires for me become the very same things I’m longing for—that feels like a recipe for mature, complete joy. 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. -Matthew 6:33